May 15, 2013 • 4 notes

MAURY MAURY MAURY

A few weeks ago, I traveled with friends to be in the audience of the Maury Show (because why the hell pass that opportunity up?) and it turned out that we were going to be on the 2,500th episode special. There were balloons and a video of Jack Hannah holding a baby otter and my personal favourite, Connie Chung jumping out of a giant fake cake.

Well, apparently they showed the latter on TMZ (here is the video link) and 45 seconds in, you can see me on the right in my Every Time I Die shirt looking slightly embarrassed at how much enjoyment I was getting out of watching a respected journalist jump out of a plywood cake for her husband. So, two for one, I’ve been on Maury AND the train wreck that is TMZ. I hope Max the surfer dude from TMZ was the one who pitched this story, he’s mah fav. The full episode of Maury airs at noon EST on Friday the 17th, fingers crossed they show my reaction to the baby otter, because I flipped out with joy.

May 7, 2013 • 919 notes • onna4

alexwhatson:

humdrumplumblr:

thepriest:

Vintage Doctor Who burn.

represent

ACCURATE YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW ACCURATE D:

hahahahaha! Oh man, the Doctor had an Aussie companion?

(via peppermint-nightmare)

May 1, 2013 • 453 notes • buzzfeed
Yup. That’s exactly what I’m doing right now.

Yup. That’s exactly what I’m doing right now.

April 30, 2013 • 2,629 notes • deathconstructionist
why are all these kids crying on my lawn
the guy who owns the American football house (via kamikazeveteran)

(via katelinbrooke)

April 29, 2013 • 82,065 notes • drunkonstephen

This is the kind of fact checking I need.

(via peppermint-nightmare)

April 27, 2013 • 34,389 notes • lowinterest

(via katelinbrooke)

April 23, 2013 • 94,777 notes • claudieblue

How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If Applied in Other Instances:

*Man walks into a store and finds employee*
Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
Man: I never filled out an application.
Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
Employee:
Man:
Employee:
Man: Fuck you, slut.
April 21, 2013 • 611 notes • pvaras
pvaras: Boston and Syria share condolences for the horrors that each has endured.  This put a lump in my throat. 

pvaras:

Boston and Syria share condolences for the horrors that each has endured. 

This put a lump in my throat. 

(via leupagus)

April 18, 2013 • 9,330 notes • drunkonstephen

I always get so happy when Colbert mentions either Lord of the Rings or Snoopy.

(via fickleobsessions)

April 17, 2013 • 1,830 notes • meme-meme

(via tallwhitney)